Uncovering how ADHD impacts money management can be the key to financial stability.

THE SITUATION

I used to think I was bad with money. That I could never hold onto it, that it slipped through my fingers maddeningly and consistently, that I never made enough of it, certainly never as much as my friends seemed to, and that overall I had, to borrow an expression that made my insides curdle, “poor money management”.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have money. I had a roof over my head, didn’t I? I more or less ate everything I wanted to eat. When I ate ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches, it was by choice. I had my own car, and gas in the tank to boot. Most importantly, I was able to pay my bills on time and in full every month – competing entertainment subscription accounts and all. So what’s the problem here?

The problem was the obscene amount of caution that I threw to the wind on the regular. The eviscerating FOMO that propelled most of my decisions from 20-35 years old. And the compulsive voice in my head that convinced me to do the most fun, adventurous thing I wanted to do at whatever the cost.

And those costs added up.

Not only was this my way of life for most of my adult life, but throw in an unhealthy dose of money dysmorphia coupled with too many years of oblivious financial illiteracy and you can guess where I am now, i.e. not exactly where I want to be. To be clear, I’m not in dire straits. But I know my life can be so much bigger, more financially secure, and more satisfying than it is now – if only I can figure “it” out.

I couldn’t understand why everyone else seemed to have this figured out but me. People who seemed to have their finances in order weren’t any smarter than me, more organized than me, or better than me. Why were they able to create a budget and stick to it, instead of blowing past those limits every time with a shamefaced shrug? How come they were able to save for a big goal like traveling the world, instead of putting it on a credit card and hoping for the best? Where did they find the discipline to not buy something from an ad so targeted that they’re clearly not just listening to your conversations but actually inside your head?

I felt disappointed in myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I felt frustrated and ashamed. It never made sense to me how I would get myself into financial holes and dig myself out, only to get into another one again and again.

Then I received an ADHD diagnosis at 38. And it finally made sense to me.

The A-Ha Moment

This diagnosis made everything in my life click when I didn’t even know anything was out of place. I looked back on the highlights, anecdotes, memories, experiences, decisions, and behaviors of the last three decades and plot twist: it was all classic, textbook, no-two-ways-around it examples of ADHD.

I didn’t even know. But I probably should have – both of my brothers have it as well as one of my parents. They both took medication from a young age. But no one thought to test me – I exhibited no outward signs of typical ADHD-presenting behavior. I behaved well (mostly), did my homework without reminders, stood at the top of my class, and was a general favorite amongst teachers and fellow students alike. Also, I’m a girl – and girls are famously under-tested and undiagnosed in the ADHD world (leading many women to similar late-in-life diagnoses like myself).

Still, over the course of my life ADHD behavior became more and more prevalent – except I didn’t know it was that. I thought it was just who I was. I believed that waiting until two days before the due date to write my senior honors thesis (despite having two years to complete it) was normal – and even praiseworthy, given my A+ grade. And throwing myself all-in on a new hobby or obsession every week: didn’t everyone live like that?

Not to mention getting myself in the most reckless and glamorous situations I could find as much as possible (sorry Mom); my scientist friends coined a new term for me, saying that I lived according to “Maximum Anecdotal Value” what with the ridiculous stories I would regale them with every weekend. It doesn’t matter what it was, as long as it was the craziest thing I could get myself into then I was there.

This wasn’t the only way that ADHD showed up without me knowing that was the guiding force behind my actions. It also, painfully, fearfully, showed up in my finances.

Without knowing ADHD was the instigator, I did everything I could get my hands on to get my finances in order. I took finance courses, read financial books, and worked with coaches. I rewrote my money story, healed my money wounds, and tapped in affirmations. I even increased income, decreased expenses, built out budgets, and tracked purchases – if there was a way to fix your finances, I tried. I honest to god truly tried. To varying degrees of success, sure, but nothing ever really stuck. Things got a little better, then a little worse, but it felt like nothing ever really changed in the way that I wanted it to change. In the way I was ready for things to change.

Turns out, I wasn’t addressing the root of the problem: why I was making these choices and carrying out these actions at all. All those methods and techniques I was trying – those were really just workarounds. And all the workarounds in the world won’t actually work until you deal with the core issue. My core issue: (undiagnosed) ADHD – a cognitive condition that influences and impacts the way those who have it move through the world. It’s a way that can make certain things really easy, and other things super hard. But it’s what we have to work with.

The Solution

Now that I know what I’m working with, NOW it feels like I can make a change. Now I know the issue isn’t just about proper money management: it’s ADHD and money management. I can finally get where I want to go now that I know where I’m starting from. I can finally, slowly, painstakingly, thrillingly belly-crawl my way to financial stability. (Let’s get to that first before we even begin talking about financial independence, yes?)

But when I started looking for resources to support me on this journey, I couldn’t exactly find what I needed. There was no singular place to go to for solutions to my ADHD and money management problems. Many sources discuss this topic, but they often mix it with other ADHD issues requiring attention. There’s nothing dedicated to just this topic, and just this topic alone. So, I’m making one.

Really, I’m making this for us. I’m poring through books, articles, media, scientific papers, and lectures to find the answers I need to finally fix my ADHD and money management struggles – and sharing what I come across along the way. Fascinatingly, my studies reveal an inarguable link between our financial choices and our ADHD brain structure. [You can read more about this in my comprehensive guide The Connection between Financial Choices and Brain Health.]

Our smaller, more hyperactive amygdala, which regulates emotions, drives our inability to stop emotional spending. We prioritize immediate wants now (like concert tickets) over long-term needs (like a retirement account) because we have a smaller prefrontal cortex – where planning for the future takes shape. We also get ourselves little treat after little treat because we have lower dopamine levels than neurotypical brains – a hormone which determines motivation, reward, and so much more. [Side note: it’s important to mention that “smaller” here does not mean inferior, malformed, lesser than, or less intelligent in any way; it simply refers to differently developed. I cannot stress this enough. Our ADHD brains are not worse than non-ADHD brains. They are only different.]

The brain ties back to the problem, so it also holds the solution. Before we can introduce tactics like dopa-menus and body doubling, we need to make sure that our brain and body is operating at peak performance so that these tactics not only work but stick. This looks like taking omega-3s supplements to reduce inflammation so we can think more clearly, strategically consuming caffeine so we’re wiring ourselves at the right times in the right way, and exercising more for our mind than our muscles. With the right strategies, ADHD and money management go hand in hand. This is what we’re going to be talking about at The ADHD Money Guide.

Think of this as ADHD and money management meet biohacking, for the purpose of living our in-every-way richest lives possible.

This is the resource that I was looking for when I started down this path: the one that answered all of my most pressing questions about the things I was most passionate about. It didn’t exist yet. And when there’s something that you need that doesn’t exist yet, you make it yourself.

That’s my story. Why I’m here, how I got here, what this is about, where it’s going. It feels appropriate to put down this foundation first before we build the house of The ADHD Money Guide. And when I say “we”, I mean you and me. Because we’re in this together.

I’m so grateful you’re here.

See you down the road,

Hana